Posts Tagged ‘Spirituality’
Trigger93


Entering the Temporary Art Zone with Hakim Bey












Our Deepest Fear
by Ayesha
Recently, someone very close to Loss of Eden asked me to add a familiar text to the blog - one that he feels speaks directly to his current situation, and to a pattern of envy that he has seen time and again. The passage was given to him by a friend years ago in a similar time of struggle; you've probably heard it before:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
This is perhaps the best known passage of Marianne Williamson's writing. It comes from her book, A Return to Love, and has been quoted recently in two feature films, Coach Carter and Akeelah and the Bee, and also in the inaugural speech given by Nelson Mandela in 1994. While my spiritual work doesn't generally lead me to hang with the Williamson/Deepak set, it's hard to deny that this passage has an appeal that continues to speak to us all of the fear of owning exactly who we are - even the very best parts of who we are. And when we think of a thing like envy, and I don't mean envy of physical possessions, but the envy of who a person is, aren't we really talking about a fear that our own unique light is somehow not what the world truly wants from us, a fear of what might happen if that unique shine were discovered, if we let that light be seen? To hide one's own light that another might feel brighter is simply to keep everyone in the dark. Let each to his or her own way that the path may be illuminated for all that seek to shine.
Lisa (Letizia) Zindell
by: Ayesha Adamo
This blog is designed to represent not only the music, but also the personal thoughts, insights, and interests of the members of Loss of Eden. As such, it seems only appropriate to dedicate my first written entry to someone very important to me in my continued development as an artist and as a person.
Lisa Zindell. Letizia Ann Marie Zindell. Lisa. The prom queen, the cheerleading captain, the salutatorian, the dance teacher...the DYFS worker, the girl with a Masters Degree in Criminal Justice, the Masters student in Social Work...the daughter, the girlfriend, the fiance, the ex-fiance...
The Friend.
In the summer before fourth grade, Lisa Zindell was my best friend. We spent nearly every day together - walking to the only corner deli in our tiny seashore town to get sodas and candies, playing imaginative games of dress up or pretending to be gypsies in the woods behind my house, going to late afternoon barbeques or learning to dive and do backflips into the in-ground pool at her house....On those long summer walks in our childhood, it seemed like we could talk about anything. It was one of the first times in my life that I felt I had a true friend.
And then there came a day when she stopped calling. She didn't come over anymore, and I was no longer invited to her house either. I never knew why. We never spoke about it, but I watched her as she became...the popular girl. I was still invited to her birthday party the next year. She traced my creative drawings to put on the invites because sometimes that's what love is.
There were times when she seemed like the Jacob to my Esau; she was the girl you always wished you were - beautiful, smart, popular, sought-after...included. Before I went away to school in tenth grade, we shared classes and cheerleading practices, but still there was a distance between us, seemingly insurmountable - a distance necessitated by her position up there in the brilliance of who she was, just a few steps ahead of me on the great ladder - a brilliance that I knew the shape of from being on the outside of it, from not being able to climb up quite as high. The last time I saw her was on the day she graduated high school and I came to watch. She was on top of it all.
On August 13, 2009, Lisa was choked and killed by her former fiance, who then killed himself.
For his repeated violations of the restraining order she had filed against him, Lisa's killer was released on bail for a mere $1500. In this world that attaches a monetary value to absolutely everything, even the worth of a human being, wasn't the life of a woman who dedicated her time and efforts to the protection of children and women facing dangers not unlike her own worth more than that?
To read the words of all the people whose lives she touched, whether in her work with DYFS or in teaching dance classes, as a close friend, or just as someone who lit up the high school hallways with her smile, is to know that the girl that I once played dress up with had grown into someone very special. To lose her as a friend when we were young was one of my first heartbreaks, but the deeper heartbreak still, the very adult heartbreak, is that I never got to know the great woman she was becoming. I would have loved to have known her.
When I walk back into those woods where we played as children, there is a tiny stream back there that's almost disappeared by now and trees we used to climb in. The trees have grown too tall for climbing now, but I can nearly hear the laughter of the children that we were...somewhere...very high up in the brilliance, where the angels were ascending and descending.